Translating Diversity to Meaningful Conversations
By Asemahle Mgayi, ALU’20
Have you ever lost sleep because you were engrossed in a conversation? Has a conversation ever left you feeling incredibly inspired? I assume the answer to these questions is a resounding yes and a huge smile from reminiscing over those memorable conversations you’ve had. Now imagine the bleak alternative of having very little to no inspiring conversations which you’d lose sleep over, on a campus filled with what I feel are Africa’s most brilliant young minds. Wouldn’t that be the greatest disservice to our explicit diversity?
Diversity is one of the African Leadership College’s integral values, actualised in the linguistic, cultural, financial, and national diversity across all the students on campus, especially the first-year students, as we are a large year group. During orientation, many first-year students felt as if they could sit with various people at mealtimes without thinking about which country those people were coming from, however, as they became more accustomed to the campus and one another they gravitated towards familiarity. That familiarity is seen in friendship circles around the nationals of their home countries or people who speak local languages from their respective countries. Although I feel that the gravitation is expected, it gravely disappoints me.
Having arrived on campus much later than the rest of my year group, I missed those initial spaces created by activities during orientation to speak to different people, and figure out which ones I could form friendships with. Only a few days after arriving on campus, I realised that not only were there country-specific friend groups and conversations which were anchored on complaining about the workload of classes, the number of assignments, and the quality of food being served at the cafeteria, I found myself in those circles having the same conversations which I felt were not stimulating and that I would not allow myself to lose sleepover. Therefore, over the last 2 days, I challenged myself to not only do research on the reasons behind a lack of spaces for wholesome conversations on campus, but I also attempted to go beyond my friend circle to do this research — in essence, practice what I’d like to see occur in future for conversation spaces on campus.
In the spirit of vulnerability, it is imperative that I disclose this was hard research to do because walking up to practical strangers and asking them about why they aren’t conversing with their fellow students from other parts of Africa, doesn’t seem like an encouraging topic to speak about at lunch. However, with the help of my friends, I was able to interview 6 people using 4 preliminary questions than any other follow-up questions which came up naturally in the interview. Not only did I ask them about the lack or presence of spaces on campus to converse but I also asked them about the types of steps they would take to prompt more conversations on campus because an interaction based on discussing the problems without mapping out a way to solve them didn’t fit into the characteristics of being the changemakers I had envisioned meeting.
Alongside the reflection from the interviews, I have also drawn out accompanying guidelines which I feel would help us foster meaningful conversations on campus.
Firstly, I asked the interviewees if they felt there were spaces on campus to have conversations, this question could be interpreted as physical infrastructure built for conversations, a time set out to converse or the organic ability for conversations to occur between two or more people which are not from the same friend group. Most of the people I had interviewed felt as if there was insufficient time set out to converse on campus and that organic conversations happened occasionally among students. However, their justification was different from one interviewee to the next. .4 interviewees felt as if there was no formal time set out to have conversations around topics of interest on campus. 1 Interviewee felt as if due to the coronavirus pandemic, students were put into traveling groups which caused a group that traveled together to spend more time together, therefore, creating more bonds which meant those inspirational conversations would only occur within those groups. While 1 interviewee felt as if the existing friendship circles created the greatest barrier to conversation because it is terrifying to attempt to start a meaningful conversation with people outside one’s friendship circle. In contrast, 1 interviewee felt as if the combination of indoor and outdoor infrastructure on campus encouraged students to have meaningful conversations in an array of comfortable environments.
For starting meaningful conversations with fellow students, I would advise starting small — perhaps sit with someone new at lunch and ask them about their day, I can almost guarantee something of interest and common inspiration will spring up.
Secondly, I asked the interviewees if they had moved outside of their comfort zones to have conversations with people who are outside of their friendship circles. 4 interviewees felt as though they were already out of their comfort zones by having traveled to Mauritius to study, therefore, they felt as if the attempt to have conversations with people outside of their friendship circles would cause a sensory overload. 1 interviewee said they don’t like moving outside of their comfort zone therefore they had not tried it. While 1 interviewee said they had tried it but did not have a great experience from it and abandoned the idea of moving out of their comfort zone to have meaningful conversations altogether. The responses to this question caused me to pause and consider whether the high hopes which I had had about meaningful conversations would remain hopes which would never actualize on campus. This was a tough reality check to experience yet a hopeful one as well because I felt as if by understanding the problem, we were closer to finding solutions and implementing them for a collective benefit.
Going outside of one’s comfort zone is always scary no matter how many times a person does it and for this to happen we ought to be willing to be scared but do it anyway for the greater desire of engaging in meaningful conversations. Never underestimate the push which attending social events on campus can give you, such as; speaking to someone you danced with at the res mixer or asking your fellow student from the debate club to expand on something they said during the session.
Thirdly, I asked the interviewees if they had had a conversation they lost sleep over since they arrived on campus. This was one of my favorite aspects of the interview because I could get a glimpse into the types of conversations that inspired my fellow changemakers and which people they were around when these conversations occurred. Each interviewee responded with a gleeful yes and there was a mixed bag of responses around the people they had the conversations with, for some, it had been with a friend and for others, it could have been with a peer group member, a roommate, or simply someone who was in the kitchen at the same time as them, refilling their water bottle. For the most part, the interviewees had these deep meaningful conversations with their friends because they felt as if there was already trust which they had cultivated, therefore they could express their vulnerability knowing that they were within a safe space. Refreshingly, 2 interviewees had a conversation with someone out of their friendship circle which resulted in very little sleep, a deep sense of fulfillment, and seeing each other through a different light because of that conversation. While I was taking notes in the interviews, a conversation around vulnerability, people as sandboxes, and how open we were as individuals began to sprout. I sat in awe as I heard my fellow first-year students share the optimal environment for them to have conversations they would lose sleepover. Those responses and impromptu yet fulfilling conversations left me feeling so inspired and having widened my perspective about the various ways in which people decide to show their deepest selves through conversation.
In this guideline, I would like to steer away from my previous guidelines and prompt us to create depth and safe spaces within our friend groups because it is proven that one can only be vulnerable with other people as they have been vulnerable with themselves and like a smile, vulnerability is contagious. Therefore, as we build vulnerability with those we trust, it becomes easier when we try it out with other fellow students.
Lastly, I asked the interviewees which strategies they would employ for us to have more conversations on campus. Among the suggestions were; more community lunches, prompt-driven share circles, residential activities which prompt teams being composed of people from the same floor in one team, encouraging more discussions at mealtimes by placing discussion prompts on the tables and the most organic one — letting the universe do its thing. During these suggestions, I was able to see that there is a desire to have more meaningful conversations on campus but we just need to figure out which ways will work. As someone who feeds off meaningful conversations because I feel an integral part of the human experience is embedded in them, I felt a university campus filled with young brilliant people with good heads on their shoulders and resilient spirits was no better place to have those conversations. I believe that where there are brilliant minds there are bound to be amazing experiences and all amazing experiences deserve a conversation to have their lifeline extended through. Remember, we are all terrified to start conversations with strangers and that is okay, we have to be willing to try anyway.
